Review: Hol*Grain Brown Rice Crackers

I was on track to get to work early this morning, so I stopped at Whole Foods (just a couple of blocks away).  I haven’t been shopping in, like, ever, and we needed everything.  Including my lunch.  I actually picked up a gluten and gum free bread that I’m anxious to try for lunch, but that’s another post.

This post?  This is about the new crackers I picked up, called Hol*Grain Brown Rice Crackers.  Actually I don’t know if they’re “new,” per se, but this was the first time I’d seen them.  So I picked some up.  I’m always up for trying something new, and since my snacking is limited to the few brands I can find that I like (and only one or two brands of most anything, except maybe chips, at any given store), I am open to trying just about everything once.

Well, I really needn’t have bothered.

These “crackers” have two ingredients: Brown Rice and Salt.  Which actually sounds like it might work – I mean, simple is good, right?  Especially in a world full of nasty factory-processed emulsifiers and additives, I really liked the length of that ingredient list.  But with the texture of styrofoam and the taste of poison…  They’re just not worth it.

Seriously, poison.  Bitter, bitter, bitter.  It’s all I could taste when I put one of those crackers in my mouth.  Like it had been dipped in the worst, most medicinal flavor in the world.  Like poison.  Actually I looked it up online and supposedly rice bran has a very high concentration of arsenic.  As in bitter poison.

Not surprising, given the flavor of these crackers.

Seriously I never take stuff back but I’m saving the receipt and will bring these back to the store for a refund next week – they’re that bad.  I have an appointment after work, or they’d be back this afternoon.  I think I’m going to stick to my Lentil Crackers and Nut Thins (both of which probably deserve a review, to be honest!).

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